Hi. It's March 1st. How has that happened?? Winter is almost over, thank goodness. We're all ready to spend some time outside. Went on a playdate this morning, we went to see Val and Nicholas and Ella. Ella is almost 3 months old and has been very fussy so Val enjoyed having someone to talk with. Matthew crawled around and Kylie and Niko played pretty well together. He was the "pusher" but he hasn't' pushed K in months so I feel better about getting together with them.
Then we went to Gymboree, Matthew had a class to make-up. His teacher said he's about ready to move up into the next level. That is strange to think about. He's about the same age as Kylie was when she started. I'm going to call the library to see if they have story time too. Kylie started that at 10 months and it was good for us (my first mommy and baby activity). Shocking to think that Matthew will be 10 months very soon.
Kylie got her class picture in yesterday. It's funny to hear her talk about all the kids. Levi sits next to her at lunch and calls her clementines oranges. Camille and Alexis are her best friends. Meagan and Nyla play together. Connor gets in trouble for running. And Ty pretended to be a monster so Kylie and Camille hid from him. He got put in time-out for that.
Speaking of K, I have some funny stories to write down. Last week she put my high heels on and one of my fancy nightgowns and was saying that she was "beet-i-ful". I couldn't understand what she was saying and she said "Like the song on your I-pod". Then I understood that she was talking about the song "You're Beautiful". Then she started singing the song "You're beautiful, you're beautiful. It's true. I saw your face and I don't know what to do." Can you believe that? I don't even listen to that song much but she loves it. That and Ice Ice Baby.
So another funny story - this morning she called Matthew - Math. I asked her "What did you call him?" She said "Math. Like how Owen calls Sophia, Soph". So she' calling him Math now. Wonder how long that will last.
Currently, while I'm typing this, she has emptied out my lingerie drawer and has put all the pretty Victoria's Secret things over her head, like a necklace. And she wants to go to a restaurant to show how "beat-i-ful" she is. And I can't find the stupid video camera. Grrr.

Hello. Monday afternoon. Kylie and Matthew are playing together in the living room so I thought I would catch up for a second.
Our weekend was good and relaxing. Now that wrestling is done, we actually had a Saturday to get some stuff done. Brett took K to the store and I took M on errands with me. Easier to get them done if you're just with one child. Tom and Megan came over on Saturday night to hang out for a while. I doubt they had much fun, we're not exciting people and just sat around and talked.

I did go to my friend Sara's house last week. Left after M's 9 month appt, which went well. He is in the 10% for weight and 50% for height. The 6 hour drive was long but the kids did very well so I can't complain. I am looking forward to having them old enough to eat in the car, stopping for 45 mins for gas, dinner and bathroom breaks drove me crazy! But it was good to see Sara. She is doing ok but is very ready to move. Nick works tons of hours, he had a meeting on Wednesday night that was from 6-midnight. He got home at 10:30pm because he just left. But he did accept the transfer so they will be moving back here about April or so. They're coming down this week to look for houses.
Kylie and Owen played pretty well together. But their gender differences were very obvious this time. Owen wanted to shoot things and Kylie wanted to put his pirates to bed. Matthew and Sophie did good too, she is growing like a weed. She weighs more the Matthew now and is 2 months younger. Her skin is so pretty and just perfect.
Kylie had her parent/teacher conference last week. It went very well. The teachers did a formal evaluation of her, which she passed with flying colors. She can tell you her first and last name and age. She can identify body parts, stand on one foot, walk tiptoe and identify different objects. She can draw a circle, horizontal and vertical line (if you have a picture for her to see). And she can change a word into pural or -ing. Her teachers said that she listens well, talks clearly, makes friends easily, and that the other kids are drawn to her. She plays alone and with others and participates in discussion time and group activities. They wrote "Kylie is a sweet little girl. She is quick to learn. We enjoy having her in class. She seems to enjoy school." And Kylie knows the Pledge of Allegiance! Who knew???
Well, that's about it for now.

Yesterday was Derek's funeral. It was very hard but we made it through. I thought the services were going to be at our church, Chapel Rock, but they were at another church, Chapel Hill UMC. We got there at 4:30 for the viewing and the funeral was at 7:00. There were a lot of wrestlers already there and many more came later. There were two pews reserved for the team and they were squished in them.
The line for the viewing was long when we got there and got even longer, estimated wait time at the end was 2 hours. The church was packed, standing room only. Derek touched a lot of lives. One of his teachers spoke, also a co-worker. His 4 best friends each talked for a few minutes too. Alan also spoke, it was hard to listen to him. He made it through to almost the end without breaking down. Then they played a country song and showed a video of pictures of Derek. That's when everyone lost it. The family was crying hard and hugging, the wrestlers were hanging their heads and sobbing. Brett and I were just holding each other with tears running down our faces. The minister then spoke and he did a good job. He talked about how the family and friends would need comfort in the upcoming months. And he offered an invitational at the end. I prayed hard that God would open some hearts and perhaps someone would accept Him.
Afterwards, we went to dinner at McGilvery's with the other coaches. We were all starving since we hadn't eaten any dinner. It was good to talk to everyone. We came up with some ideas to memorialize Derek.
So this morning, I was thinking about things and got the idea to write Coach Dungy and tell him about Derek. So I wrote this letter:

Dear Mr. Dungy,

I am writing you today to tell you about a special young man, Derek Beall. I've know Derek for seven years, my husband has been his wrestling coach throughout junior high and high school. Derek was a co-captain of the Ben Davis wrestling team, member of the Indiana Wrestling Coaches All State Academic Team (one of only three Marion County kids), member of the National Honor society and was working on finishing his Eagle scout requirements. He also was a very big Colts fan. His MySpace page has Peyton Manning all over it and he always wore his Joseph Addai jersey on Blue Friday!

Tragically, Derek took his own life on February 16th. I have been friends with Derek's mother, Diane. We always sit with each other during the wrestling meets, cheering the team on. I visited with Diane this weekend and she told me that during a time like this there is a fine line between blaming God and digging deep into her faith to get her through this.

I know you lost your son James and your faith in God has helped you during that time. I also know that you are a very busy man. But I was writing to see if you had a moment to write a note to Diane and her surviving son, Justin. Maybe you could share how your Christian faith helped you cope with the loss of James. I think it would really help her at this time.

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. Enclosed is a copy of Derek's obituary so you can read what a wonderful young man he was. Below is Diane's contact information.

Thanks again,




Mary Nabb


I don't know if he'll do anything with it but it would be great if he did contact Diane somehow.



Well, there are other things in my life right now. K's parent/teacher conference is today. We'll get an update on how she is doing and what she needs to work on. M has his 9 month appt tomorrow. After that, we're driving to Detroit to see my friend Sara for a few days. I'm looking forward to that. It's a long trip but I've only been up there once so I feel like I need to go again. It's looking good for her moving back in the next few months too.

I guess that's about it for now.

Sunday afternoon. Matthew is sleeping, Kylie is playing and Brett is at the store.

CP placed 5th yesterday. We were happy with that. He showed a lot of heart just getting out there at all after Derek's death. After all, Derek was his workout partner all through high school and his teammate for 7 years. CP said he didn't sleep well on Friday and seem sluggish Saturday morning. Anyway, he lost his first match, didn't really wrestle the first period. But he won against MD big and then beat Carmel in triple overtime. That was exciting. I know it wasn't what his goal was but he had a lot going against him with his bad knee this year, re injuring it in January and then Derek.

It was a nice day of wrestling yesterday. The kids stayed all day and night with Dick and Sharon. So I didn't need to worry. It was crazy to use my breast pump in the bathroom, not very cozy but it worked. Brett had to carry it back and forth from the equipment bag since coolers were not allowed in the stands. I wonder if anyone wondered what was in that Ziploc bag!

Church was this morning. We worked in the nursery during first service. There wasn't anything about Derek in the bulletin but it may have already been printed beforehand. They may have announced it after service but we weren't there so I don't know. Brett did bring it up during prayer requests and couldn't even get the first sentence out before he started to cry. He hasn't really thought much about it, he's been trying to stay focused on wrestling for the kids. But today it's really hitting him. I burned the pictures from Derek's senior night onto a CD so Brett is at the store now, making a 8x10 of it to give to Diane. We're going over there today to pay our respects. Brett called her to see if it was OK and said he started to cry as soon as she answered the phone. She said we could come over anytime, that there were a lot of people over today. Brett is going over to Coach's house after the kids go to bed to help him write the eulogy. Coach took the Ben Davis wrestling "torch" that we used to give to the next captain at the end of the year awards banquet and is going to have it used in a floral arrangement for the funeral. The next few days are going to be very hard for everyone.
That's about it for now.

What a morning. Brett called at 8:00 to tell me that one of his wrestlers, Derek Beall, committed suicide last night. It is so tragic. Derek was such a nice kid. Smart, talented, just the last person that I would think would do this. His mom, Diane, sat next to me during every match and always has candy for Kylie. They even gave Kylie and Matthew Christmas presents. I feel just sick for Diane, what she must be going through now. Brett was crying and had left work to get to the school. Then he took CP and Chris, the two wrestlers who are competing tonight and one other kid to our house. He didn't want them to be alone and didn't want them to be dwelling on what happened. So he had them watch the wrestling movie "Vision Quest" and I feed them (except CP since he's close on his weight for weigh-ins tonight). Gabby came over and he had gone to dinner with Derek last night. Didn't get the impression that anything was wrong. Derek went to practice to help CP work out, like he does every night. Brett did say that he cleaned out his locker but that wasn't really unusual since it was the last day of practice. What a blow to everyone. I think about going to these kids graduation parties and weddings, not their funerals.
I went to church to my bible study but didn't stay long, just long enough to ask for prayers and to talk to the youth group pastor, Nick. Derek's younger brother is involved with our youth group so I knew that Nick would want to know. He was going to call his friend at the school to see if they needed any extra counseling help.
I just can't believe that Derek would do this the night before State. He knew how important it is for the guys to be mentally ready for this. I just don't know what was going so bad in his life that this is what he did.



Later that night:

Back from State. Found out some more information. Derek hung himself between 1am and 5:30. He did his homework, went to bed and talked to his girlfriend until 1:00. His mom went to wake him up at 5:30 and found him. He had been dead for a while. Weird, Brett was up at 2am getting sick....wonder if that was when Derek did it. Anyway, he left a note but didn't indicate his reasons. His girlfriend said they hadn't fought, that he didn't say anything to make her think something was wrong. Diane called Nick, the youth group leader, and asked him to talk with Justin. I'm glad that I took the time to talk to Nick beforehand so he might have had time to pray and prepare. The viewing is on Monday and the services will be afterwards. Both are at Chapel Rock so I think Pastor Fred will oversee it. This is what hits me the most -- in lue of flowers, they are asking that donations be made in Derek's name to the wrestling program. It was so hard to see all the kids and parents at State tonight. Everyone was there to support CP and Chris but all knew what was in our minds and hearts. They sent cards around for everyone to sign. Coach is going to Gillespe's to order flowers on Sunday from the coachs. Several of the mom's and Coach had gone to visit Diane. Said she was in shock. I just keep praying that she will somehow have peace but that will take a long time. It's just so hard when there doesn't seem to be a reason. No fights, no noticeable depression, nothing. It just sucks. At first I was angry for him being so selfish but now I just know that he wasn't in his right mind. The Derek we know wouldn't do this. Barb Miller was in our bible study this morning and prayed the most eloquent prayer for me. She put all my feelings and frustration and questions into words and laid it all at God's feet. And that's all we can do.



Anyways, Chris got drilled by a senior from MD, pinned in 64 seconds. But he's a freshman so we're not worried, good experience for him. CP had a great match, controlled the whole thing. Won decisively. Tomorrow should be interesting!

Well, once again it's been awhile. Let me try to catch up quickly.

Matthew started sleeping through the night!!!! That happened right after Christmas. I was fed up with it and bought a book called "Healthy sleep habits, happy child" and read it over Christmas. I probably wasn't the most social I've been but I really needed to read that book. Anyways, it basically showed me how to look for sleep signs before he's tired and putting him to bed earlier, like 7pm. Which is 90mins earlier then before. We started better with the naps and bedtime while still at my parents. And once we got home, we let him CIO (cry it out) the first night. I was too exhausted and fed up to wait. Well, low and behold, he cried when we put him to bed for 15 mins and feel asleep! Then he woke up a few more times at night, cried for 5 mins or so and then went back to sleep. It was wonderful. So, now, almost 2 months later, he goes to sleep between 7-7:30 and usually sleeps until 5 or 6am. Then I nurse him and he falls back asleep till 7 or 8. Working good for me!

Matthew also has 2 teeth on the bottom. And started crawling on his 9 month b-day. He had been doing the army crawl for a few weeks but on 2/8/07, he started on all fours. It's pretty exciting and Kylie likes to cheer him on.

Kylie is doing great. She started gymnastics and is loving it. She listens to the teacher well and follows the directions pretty good too. Next week she starts going in the evening with Brett. He's anxious to help coach her with it.

We did have some potty training regression during Christmas. She got constipated and wasn't going for several days at a time. Then would go in her panties. It was very frustrating. After we got back into our normal routine after Christmas, we started over with the PTing. Had the chair in the kitchen, rewards for peeing, everything. Within a few days, she was back on track. It was like she forgot how to do it. I googled "potty training regression" and it said it can be very common around times of stress, like moving or the holidays.

Christmas was great. I had whole long blog written on the computer about our Christmas but I can't find it now. If I do find it, I'll publish it later. Basically, Kylie got her beloved Pony Castle from Uncle Josh. She was so excited when she opened it. She knew what it was from the first tear of the paper. She started screaming and jumping up and down "It's a pony castle!!!!". And she has played with it plenty. We had to move it into her bedroom because Matthew was trying to eat all the little parts of it. But she still plays with it a lot. Her other favorite Christmas present was a bag of little dollar store toys from her teachers. She carried that bag of cheap toys around all Christmas eve, even had to sleep with them. And it was near disaster when we couldn't find one part of it. What a funny kid.

Matthew really likes his discovery dome he got from Brett's parents (my suggestion, it looked so neat). And he likes to stand at the Thomas Train Table that Santa got him. He just pulls the train tracks apart so I have to figure out how they go back together. And the circus train that my parents got him is a huge hit with both kids. It was the first thing that he crawled too when he learned to crawl.

I got a beautiful diamond circle pendent from Brett. He hid it in my new boots that I picked out. He was mad that I was with him when he bought the boots so he wrote on the tag "Surprise, it's boots." Loser.

Brett really liked the portable iPod player we got for his car. And he's been using the camera lens we got a lot too.

Well, enough about Christmas.

Wrestling is winding down. State finals start tomorrow. We have 2 kids going, CP and another kid, Chris Hines. He's only a freshman, the first freshman to qualify for state from BD. I'm taking Kylie with me to Conseco for Friday night and then leaving her and Matthew with D&S all day and night on Saturday. It will be fun but I'll also miss them.

We've got some crazy weather here. January was really warm, like 40 and 50's for most of it. Then the snow started in Feb. This week, we had a "blizzard". We got 9 inches in 24 hours and would have had more if we didn't get sleet for 12 of those hours. Up north got more then 18 inches. It's crazy. So much snow that the mail lady can't or won't deliver because the snow is too high in front of the mail box. We haven't gotten mail in 3 days. I went to the PO today and they said the mail lady would be back at 4:30. And they close at 5. so I have a whopping 30 mins to get up there and pick up my 3 days of mail. Grrrrr.

My friend Sara, is most likely moving back!!! Her husband is just waiting on the official offer. How exciting is that. I've missed her so much. It will be great to have her near by again.

Well, that's about all I can think of. I'll try to write more often. :)