Parents, a princess and a pirate

What a morning. Brett called at 8:00 to tell me that one of his wrestlers, Derek Beall, committed suicide last night. It is so tragic. Derek was such a nice kid. Smart, talented, just the last person that I would think would do this. His mom, Diane, sat next to me during every match and always has candy for Kylie. They even gave Kylie and Matthew Christmas presents. I feel just sick for Diane, what she must be going through now. Brett was crying and had left work to get to the school. Then he took CP and Chris, the two wrestlers who are competing tonight and one other kid to our house. He didn't want them to be alone and didn't want them to be dwelling on what happened. So he had them watch the wrestling movie "Vision Quest" and I feed them (except CP since he's close on his weight for weigh-ins tonight). Gabby came over and he had gone to dinner with Derek last night. Didn't get the impression that anything was wrong. Derek went to practice to help CP work out, like he does every night. Brett did say that he cleaned out his locker but that wasn't really unusual since it was the last day of practice. What a blow to everyone. I think about going to these kids graduation parties and weddings, not their funerals.
I went to church to my bible study but didn't stay long, just long enough to ask for prayers and to talk to the youth group pastor, Nick. Derek's younger brother is involved with our youth group so I knew that Nick would want to know. He was going to call his friend at the school to see if they needed any extra counseling help.
I just can't believe that Derek would do this the night before State. He knew how important it is for the guys to be mentally ready for this. I just don't know what was going so bad in his life that this is what he did.



Later that night:

Back from State. Found out some more information. Derek hung himself between 1am and 5:30. He did his homework, went to bed and talked to his girlfriend until 1:00. His mom went to wake him up at 5:30 and found him. He had been dead for a while. Weird, Brett was up at 2am getting sick....wonder if that was when Derek did it. Anyway, he left a note but didn't indicate his reasons. His girlfriend said they hadn't fought, that he didn't say anything to make her think something was wrong. Diane called Nick, the youth group leader, and asked him to talk with Justin. I'm glad that I took the time to talk to Nick beforehand so he might have had time to pray and prepare. The viewing is on Monday and the services will be afterwards. Both are at Chapel Rock so I think Pastor Fred will oversee it. This is what hits me the most -- in lue of flowers, they are asking that donations be made in Derek's name to the wrestling program. It was so hard to see all the kids and parents at State tonight. Everyone was there to support CP and Chris but all knew what was in our minds and hearts. They sent cards around for everyone to sign. Coach is going to Gillespe's to order flowers on Sunday from the coachs. Several of the mom's and Coach had gone to visit Diane. Said she was in shock. I just keep praying that she will somehow have peace but that will take a long time. It's just so hard when there doesn't seem to be a reason. No fights, no noticeable depression, nothing. It just sucks. At first I was angry for him being so selfish but now I just know that he wasn't in his right mind. The Derek we know wouldn't do this. Barb Miller was in our bible study this morning and prayed the most eloquent prayer for me. She put all my feelings and frustration and questions into words and laid it all at God's feet. And that's all we can do.



Anyways, Chris got drilled by a senior from MD, pinned in 64 seconds. But he's a freshman so we're not worried, good experience for him. CP had a great match, controlled the whole thing. Won decisively. Tomorrow should be interesting!